thankful by after october

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Why are you soooooo nice?

aw this made me smile.

why are you soooooo sweet!!? <3


the annual autumn rut in england’s richmond park, photographed by dan kitwood

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2 days ago 5,993 notes
hi love, i'm sorry i don't want to bother you i just don't really know what to do. The days are just so difficult and i feel like i am losing control over everything like i just cannot handle anything i feel so idk how to describe it really numb i wanna die but i don't wanna i don't know i just don't feel save anymore and the thoughts are very strong again, i thought i had them under control and the point is just that nothing can distract me anymore i really don't know it's just all so much :(

so first of all- you’re not bothering me!! i’m proud of you for reaching out.

i’m going to copy-paste something i wrote a while back to a similar message, because this feels very urgent, and i don’t want to wait until i have enough time to come up with an adequate (new) response. 

if you are worried can’t keep yourself safe, please reach out to someone you know in real life, and/or call a hotline (1-800-273-8255) or try an online hotline like if it comes down to it, call 911. bottom line is your life matters and everything that seems like it’s too much will eventually subside. 

maybe nothing will distract you right now. maybe you need to experience your feelings. but you don’t need to do that alone. and it won’t last forever. (ever heard the phrase “the only way out is through” ?)

really listen to the lyrics here if you need some extra motivation. you can do this!

i know a part of you wants to live, or you wouldn’t have messaged me. please hang in there. please get help.

Here is what i wrote before. There will probably be some overlap in what I wrote just now, but that’s because it’s important:


please don’t kill yourself. 

i don’t know who you are, but i care about you, and would be genuinely devastated if i found out that you killed yourself. 

you are so loved, whether you realize it or not. people need you. the world needs you. you would be both depriving the world of a wonderful, unique person, and depriving yourself of the beautiful future you have ahead of you.

and you DO have that beautiful future ahead of you, whether you can see it right now or not. so keep fighting.

keep fighting for all the people who love you and who you love.

for your friends and family.

for your classmates and teachers and neighbors and teammates and passersby on the street. these people care about you. you make a difference.

keep fighting for all the experiences you have yet to have that will make you so happy you stuck it out. keep fighting for all the people you will meet and wonder how they weren’t in your life before. these people will think the same thing about you, too. they need you there.

i’ve been there, anon. i know what it feels like to feel suicidal, who terrifying and hopeless and isolating and guilt-ridden and stuck it feels.

when i was at my worst, someone who had been in the same place texted me saying “please hang in there because it gets better! i promise i promise i promise! i was the last one to ever think i could get through it but i did, so i know one day at a time you will too.”

and now, i’m so thankful that i DID hang in there, because i feel grateful to have the opportunity to pass this message on to you. and i know that one day, you will be feeling the same way as you tell someone else who is struggling-truthfully and from your own experience-i’ve been there and it gets better.

you are worth it.

life is worth it.

please, keep fighting.

if you are in immediate danger please call 911. you can also call 1800SUICIDE or during certain hours get online help from a counselor at or (these are all for the U.S. but other countries also have resources that i am less familiar with, like the befrienders. a quick google search should probably provide lots of suggestions.) i don’t know the circumstances that caused you to feel suicidal, but i do know that whatever it is, it is treatable, and this feeling is temporary. depression is treatable with medication and therapy, and no matter the cause, talking to a therapist about suicidal feelings can definitely help (i know this from personal experience!).

and of course, talking to a family member, friend, or other trusted adult (a teacher or counselor, for example) is important too. you don’t need to go through this pain alone. let the people who care about you support you. helping people gives life meaning and purpose. it may be hard to grasp, but the truth is, people who love you WANT to be there for you!

i wish i could convey how much i care about you.

reaching out for help and support is scary. it’s terrifying. but it’s worth it! you reached out here, and that shows you have a spark in you that is fighting for your life. hang onto that spark within you that wants to live.

and because you reached out by sending this message, i know you have the courage to reach out and get the help you deserve.

please hang in there. you can get through this-i believe in you 100%.

sending you so much strength and love. 

hi your so awsome

you’re awesomer!!!! :) <3

i often feel like no one cares about me HELP

i care about you!!!!!

and you know what else? i’m 100000% sure that people in your life do care about you—but sometimes it can be hard to see, whether that’s because you’re in a dark place personally or because people close to you aren’t great at showing how much they love you.

i struggle with very similar thoughts and feelings, and recently it’s been worse than normal. something my therapist suggests, which is WAY easier said than done, is to “distance” myself from those thoughts. meaning, just because we have a thought, doesn’t mean it’s a fact. not all thoughts are true. we can choose to believe the lies we tell ourselves, or we can choose to say, “hey look, there’s that familiar thought again. thanks for stopping by. next-“

again, i know that it’s not that simple. it’s something i struggle with every single day. you’re not alone. and i’m glad you reached out because feeling alone with it can be the most painful part (at least for me).

maybe knowing that others have the same thoughts can help you reality check your own perceptions. like personally, i read what you wrote and empathized, but i also immediately knew the it wasn’t accurate—for one thing, my first reaction was that i care, and i don’t even know you! and that helps me recognize that maybe my thoughts are distorted also; i don’t get to be the exception. you don’t either. sometimes, it’s about hanging onto that “maybe.” 

sorry this is so long! i hope this was at least a little bit helpful & i really encourage you to keep reaching out to others and let them know how you feel, and to counter those thoughts however works best for you…whether that’s using some of the thought processes i shared here, or something completely different.

sending you so, so, so much love!


art/recovery/advice blog x

3 days ago 1,262 notes


Slowly replacing the negative thoughts with colors and beautiful things.

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"Daring to step into oneself is the bravest, strangest, most natural, most terrifying thing a person can do, because when you cease to wrap yourself in artifice you are naked, and when you are naked you are vulnerable. But vulnerability is the leading edge of truth. Being willing to sacrifice a false life is the only way to live a true one."

- Charles Blow (via liquid-diamonds-flowing)

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